I honestly I get so depressed I can’t feel anything but a bulge like a not in my stomach and clog in my throat like my heart is there stuck and I can’t get it out… I have to make myself feel so I cut I cut deep and destroy myself I ruin every inch of my arms and thighs my boyfriend stopped caring that I do it so I just haven’t stopped I don’t have a reason to.. I feel like I’m going to leave here very soon I feel like I don’t have a reason to stay. I want to die and I think my whole worlds about to cave in. I feel like no one cares about me anymore… I don’t feel like I have friends anymore… I want to die every second I’m awake.. The silence is killing me and I can’t take it anymore I’m screaming out for help and no one hears me no one fucking listens to my screams why can’t you listen! Why can’t you see I’m fucking broken why aren’t any of you helping me I follow all these help blog and I try to talk to them they never reply to me because I’m not a pretty girl well ugly girls hurt to. Thanks guys. Thanks I hope I die and everyone feels pathetic because none of you listened you offered but you never held it up you never stuck to your word and tried like I have with hundreds of others but they can’t return the favor I’m so weak I can barely type I’m going to bed for good. So goodnight.
On November 25th 2012 I tried to kill myself, I slit my wrists and took a whole bottle of pills, the next day I woke up in a white room with no one around me I began to sob I thought I lost everything I began to beg god to send me back, then my boyfriend walked in and kissed me, told me I was never allowed to do this again without him until we’re forgetting each others names, I honestly hate life still but I wouldn’t give up a single moment of what I hate for the ones I love. Stay strong okay?